"Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leave s you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body- hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you -apart pain. I hate love" Neil Gaiman

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realise that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. "
Mignon McLaughlin

"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. "

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Oscar Wilde

"There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me."
John Erskine

"When I saw you, I was afraid to talk to you. When I talked to you, I was afraid to hold you. When I held you, I was afraid to love you. And now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you"

"Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, and to those who need love because they've been hurt before."

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."

I'm growing guts in pots out back in hopes of making a medicine that will ease my nerves and give me strength.

it may seem lame but my voice is giving out and I've been walking for days, its about time that I pull up the sheets and settle in for a long winters nap.

maybe if you were a year earlier I could believe your sweet words but its to the point where I've heard it all before and I feel like its hard to trust and believe in something so overplayed.
and oh my, you're so cliche.











































There is nothing here worth reading.

So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.It is best to compose a poem, an honest longing or simple song of hope.That is why I'm singing...Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you companythrough those days so long and black.And we'll just keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve of Love's uneven remainder.But if the world could remain in a frame like a painting on a wall.Then I think we would see the beauty.Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.

every living creature dies alone.

you bleed me dry and i don't ask why but i'm left with the dust

her heart tries not to break.She holds her own, but indecision makes her shake.She’s got so much left to give, all her thoughts and all her dreams, reminding me how fast the time is passing by.Well I don’t even know your name.Don’t even know your name, but I wanted to tell you things change.Things change.

x <3 x

you just make stalking
feel so right <3

Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
----Brand New

I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all
----Maroon 5

You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my might
Our hearts beat strong under fictitious skies
You were always my enemy, suck the life out of me

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall
Secrets don't make friends
----From First to Last

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
----?

You and me, you know that we were always funny in a car crash sort of way.
----BoysNightOut

The sky is falling on a t.v. screen
Mass hysteria for an American dream
The antichrist is coming to kill of your young
Load your firearms
Because security is a warm warm gun
Armageddon well packaged and formatted for your t.v. screen
With fagged out politicians and pop star rape machines
Give us more medication
So we can run away from another day
Give us more isolation
Because it works for me
Give us more desperation
Because it works for me
----Scarlet

take a gun called hate up against your heart, and pull the trigger
----FUneral For a Friend

certian words must be screamed
rather than be sung or spoken:

i am alive and vigorous...

...as they toil without love.
fight without purpose,
and live without passion...
-shai hulud

Restless, fed up tough and clever. Wishing this would last forever. Its futile when, you know it won't.
-pretty girls make graves

 

Tuition: $10,000
Room and Board: $5,000
Computer: $500
Going to your final with a keyboard imprinted on your face....priceless

me: Dad! we could all get AIM and then Instant message each other!
Dad: or we could just all sit in the same room and TALK to each other.
me: oh come on. where is the fun in that?
Dad: You're right. We should all get AIM and then we can all sit in the same room and instant message each other!

x <3 x

TENlegrrrTEN: oh poop
seasickmnky: I don't really know what kind of fetish you are into but I don't really want to hear about them. especially not your poop fetish...
TENlegrrrTEN: mm tasty
TENlegrrrTEN: [gags]
seasickmnky: I don't want to hear about your roman showers fetish either!!!
TENlegrrrTEN: fiiiiiiiiiiine
TENlegrrrTEN: .......sigh
seasickmnky: ewwwy...I feel so bad for David.....

You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in a while you just can be a real cunt.



my favorite accident. flew up on to rooftops. a dove in disguise. little did I know how right I was. so keep smiling beautiful. I never want to see you stop.



Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy



I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay?
You're a bad man. You're a bad man. You're a bad man, bad man.

OnClowd009 (8:44:05 PM): i just hacked up a kidney
seasickmnky (8:44:33 PM): oOoo. yummy.
seasickmnky (8:44:46 PM): with a little olive oil. mMmm
OnClowd009 (8:44:55 PM): ewwwwww
OnClowd009 (8:45:02 PM): ketchup jackie ....u use ketchup
seasickmnky (8:45:27 PM): ewwwwwwwwwwww. ketchup is the devil
seasickmnky (8:45:29 PM): nasty!
OnClowd009 (8:45:43 PM): not with kidneys
OnClowd009 (8:45:52 PM): plus how would u know
seasickmnky (8:47:11 PM): how would I know that ketchup is nasty?
seasickmnky (8:47:25 PM): it smells bad and makes me want to puke just looking at it
OnClowd009 (8:47:29 PM): how would u know that ketchup is nasty with kidneys
seasickmnky (8:47:46 PM): because ketchup is nasty in general
seasickmnky (8:47:54 PM): and not good with ANTYHING
OnClowd009 (8:48:25 PM): ok fine.....if u arent gonna use ketchup you use pickle juice with kidneys
OnClowd009 (8:48:26 PM): haha
seasickmnky (8:48:36 PM): no!
seasickmnky (8:48:45 PM): olive oil and old bay
seasickmnky (8:48:49 PM): yummmm
OnClowd009 (8:48:49 PM): ewwwwwwww no
OnClowd009 (8:49:36 PM): you just need help eating ur organs
seasickmnky (8:50:10 PM): no way dude.
seasickmnky (8:50:16 PM): I've had kidney before
seasickmnky (8:50:23 PM): why do you think my mom only has one?
OnClowd009 (8:50:39 PM): hello...OUR MOM
seasickmnky (8:52:07 PM): okay okay. well she still only has one
OnClowd009 (8:52:09 PM): and it bc of that thing that happened back in 1993
OnClowd009 (8:52:22 PM): u didnt even know what a kidney was back then
seasickmnky (8:53:42 PM): ...no. I ate it!!
OnClowd009 (8:53:50 PM): NO U DIDNT
OnClowd009 (8:56:01 PM): your just jealous
seasickmnky (8:56:10 PM): nope
seasickmnky (8:56:12 PM): not at al
seasickmnky (8:56:14 PM): l
OnClowd009 (8:56:14 PM): cause u dotn knwo hwo to eat a kidney
seasickmnky (8:56:16 PM): I ate it
seasickmnky (8:56:19 PM): and it was yummy
OnClowd009 (8:56:27 PM): no no u di'int
seasickmnky (8:56:46 PM): you're jealous because you've never eaten kidney before
OnClowd009 (8:57:23 PM): im eating mine righ tnow
seasickmnky (8:59:00 PM): uhuh. sure
seasickmnky (8:59:06 PM): that's not realy
seasickmnky (8:59:11 PM): you're probably eating liver
OnClowd009 (8:59:17 PM): i already ate that
OnClowd009 (8:59:19 PM): this morning
seasickmnky (8:59:52 PM): lies
seasickmnky (8:59:53 PM): all lie
seasickmnky (8:59:57 PM): s
seasickmnky (8:59:57 PM): !!!
seasickmnky (9:00:00 PM): blasphamous!!!
OnClowd009 (9:01:08 PM): ur the pathological liar
seasickmnky (9:02:03 PM): psh...I don't know what you're talking about...
OnClowd009 (9:06:46 PM): excuse me miss i eat liver
seasickmnky (9:07:09 PM): psh. KIDNEY
OnClowd009 (9:07:24 PM): psh.....liver lover
seasickmnky (9:08:52 PM): i love your liver
OnClowd009 (9:09:08 PM): awww i love your liver too
seasickmnky (9:09:17 PM): yay!
OnClowd009 (9:09:37 PM): your liver is sooo hot
seasickmnky (9:10:02 PM): oh and yours is damn sexy
OnClowd009 (9:10:35 PM): oh geez stop making me blush
seasickmnky (9:12:19 PM): haha. aww but your organs just turn me on so much!
OnClowd009 (9:14:09 PM): your organs make me sooo horny
seasickmnky (9:14:44 PM): hahahahhahaha

seasickmnky: I hope you fall in the toilet
LadyRepublica : i did
LadyRepublica : just so you know
LadyRepublica : i actually did

seasickmnky : so...I was talking to my Mom about camping and she brought up this brilliant thing that we haven't taken into consdieration
seasickmnky : the CICADIAS!
seasickmnky : and do you know when they are due??
seasickmnky : that's right...May 19!
seasickmnky : holy shit. its going to be one interesting trip...
seasickmnky : some one better look up cicadia recipes

lankasky:: and i'd be in the same building as jackie
lankasky : the coolest person EVER!

You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in a while you just can be a real cunt.

lankasky : chemistry = bad
lankasky : jackie = entropy
lankasky : entropy = chemistry
lankasky : therefore jackie = bad
lankasky : i don't like bad
lankasky : and therefore must dislike jackie
lankasky : sorry
lankasky : it's just the was it has to be
seasickmnky : entropy = random
seasickmnky : random = jackie
seasickmnky : random = GOOD
seasickmnky : therefore jackie = good!
lankasky : *breaks down crying*
lankasky : now i don't know what to believe
lankasky : but the coolest person alive can't be bad...
lankasky : so you must be good
lankasky : in conclusion popsicles are yummy

lankasky: so since i have several different ppl telling me to eat babies i'd just like to know how you prefer your babies
seasickmnky: DEAD
lankasky: no sauces or anything?
lankasky: just dead and raw?
lankasky: not much of a pallete on you
seasickmnky: I HATE babies. all babies.
seasickmnky: they are best DEAD and out of my ovaries.
lankasky: lol
lankasky: oh jackie...
lankasky: all i can do is shake my head and grin
seasickmnky: dude don't you know... I'm pro abortion

lankasky (10:55:01 AM): well you aren't dying because that would ruin everything.... so therefore both A and C are out.... and I never took you as one to just stay in bed w/o doing anything fun along the lines of sleeping or *wink wink*..... so i'll have to say you are currently doing secret hidden option D - being a silly Jackie.... oh and if for some reason you do die i call dibs on your A's, those aren't yours yet

Auto response from seasickmnky (10:55:01 AM): I am either
a) dying
b) lying on my bed OR
c) all of the above.
either way leave a message. and no, none of you can have my stuff.

Real happiness is without reason and unconditional.
It's not money, sex, the accomplishment of any goal, or the satisfaction of any desire.
It's the inner peace that comes from not desiring anything, from accepting things the way they are and realizing the infinite beauty of their simplicity.
Real happiness is living in the now.
It is love and selflessness.
It is the understanding and grand appreciation of reality as it is.

someshadeofgrey : steph and chrissy are freaking out about chemistry and talking about "hexines" and i'm laughing inside
someshadeofgrey : BECAUSE WE ROCK
someshadeofgrey : and we dont have to do that shit
seasickmnky : hahahahahhahahahaha. SCORE!!
someshadeofgrey : yes we rule
someshadeofgrey : so officially

We waited four hours, spent heaven knows how much, and endured countless stares and whispers waiting for a highly trained professional to perform a delicate medical procedure -- with a paper clip

Jason: She lost her in the bedroom for two seconds
Me: That's when you know you're too skinny

MikeS1985: oh, alpha penis bitch
MikeS1985: go have sex with a dolphin

Brakingeleven (2:08:13 AM): just the angry man and the confusing one are hooking up now... not sure what to think
Brakingeleven (2:08:50 AM): (i mean that in a good way, lol)
seasickmnky (2:08:55 AM): I'm not angry! nor am I a man!!
Brakingeleven (2:09:06 AM): lol, you're the confusing one silly

Brakingeleven: sniff sniff... i have horse porn
Seasickmnky: No wonder Lisa is still a virgin, she's been going after the wrong specie

gravy fries
and dirty lollipops
i love the way that sounds
and everything else you said

i want to take you far away from the cynics in this
town and kiss you on the mouth

MikeS1985: she doesnt go to the barn to ride
MikeS1985 : she goes to the barn TO RIDE

Mel: You hate me? What you don't want to see my labia?

seasickmnky (1:42:27 AM): I didn't see you though
matte517 (1:42:29 AM): i know
matte517 (1:42:32 AM): i stalk you...

OnClowd009 (10:29:58 PM): ok so we have to be related.....my cousins name is jackie...my grandpas name is jack, my uncle jack jr., my old dog jackson, and my aunt jacklyn
OnClowd009 (10:38:39 PM): however im older than u so we cant be twins

Dear Daylight Savings Time,

I hate you.

I could have used that hour to do so many things! I could have learned a new language, I could have had a torrid love affair, I could have finished college, I could have written lengthy stories about hot sailors, I could have become the first woman president, I could have commandeered a ship of the fleet, I could have become the ruler of my own country. But no. You had to go and steal my hour. I thought we were friends, I thought we talked about this last year, I thought we'd resolved our differences. Apparently, I was wrong.

I still hate you.

No love whatsoever,

Jackie

OnClowd009 (2:47:00 PM): the robot is soo famous
seasickmnky (2:47:18 PM): haha. totally
seasickmnky (2:47:29 PM): He'll start signing autographs soon enough
OnClowd009 (2:47:49 PM): i was just about to say that
OnClowd009 (2:48:01 PM): i would want his autograph
OnClowd009 (2:48:20 PM): are his babies as sexy as he is
seasickmnky (2:48:27 PM): most definitly.
seasickmnky (2:48:34 PM): I would totally want his autograph
seasickmnky (2:48:45 PM): and then I remember he sleeps in my room every night ;-)
OnClowd009 (2:49:03 PM): haha very true
OnClowd009 (2:49:20 PM): how does he have kids tho.....if he doesnt have a robot mate
seasickmnky (2:50:00 PM): he does! my friend got a robot wife for him :-)
OnClowd009 (2:50:24 PM): oh good i was gonna say
seasickmnky (2:50:56 PM): that would be interesting
seasickmnky (2:50:59 PM): asexual robot
OnClowd009 (2:51:32 PM): oh dear
OnClowd009 (2:52:19 PM): how can he have sex anyways especially if he lives in ur room
seasickmnky (2:53:33 PM): I give him private time.
seasickmnky (2:53:41 PM): my friend brings the wife over.
seasickmnky (2:53:55 PM): ::insert porn/sex noises here::
OnClowd009 (2:55:14 PM): it must be tough being round cause then if u were lying down you would just end up rolling and no sex would occur
seasickmnky (2:56:14 PM): haha. that is so true.
OnClowd009 (2:57:39 PM): i guess they'd have to do it standing up
seasickmnky (2:58:52 PM): that would be interesting

you're out of my heart
like I've always been out of yours
I'm out of yours
and I'm moving on
all of it was a lie told by you
some fabrication
a story that was never true
and I'm glad to be moving on

Toloqi (4:25:36 AM): you should carry around a plant
Toloqi (4:25:40 AM): and call him Nick
Toloqi (4:25:46 AM): he will offer you protection
Toloqi (4:25:59 AM): and no one would dare mess with you the stronger and larger Nick becomes
Toloqi (4:26:08 AM): but dont make the plant an african violet
Toloqi (4:26:14 AM): everyone picks on those african violets..
Toloqi (4:26:20 AM): those pansies with their "furry" leaves :P

Fly Boy44321 (3:59:02 AM): what did you want to be when you grew up ten years ago?
seasickmnky (4:00:29 AM): I was 8. I thought I was grown up. I didn't think about the future.
Fly Boy44321 (4:00:41 AM): how about five years ago?
seasickmnky (4:01:02 AM): 13? a vet...maybe
seasickmnky (4:01:10 AM): I've never really thought about it
Fly Boy44321 (4:01:36 AM): three years ago?
seasickmnky (4:03:12 AM): a rockstar
Fly Boy44321 (4:03:59 AM): one?
seasickmnky (4:05:32 AM): a journalist
Fly Boy44321 (4:05:48 AM): and now?
seasickmnky (4:06:04 AM): alive
Fly Boy44321 (4:06:26 AM): sounds like an opening for a story, almost
seasickmnky (4:06:36 AM): yeah...it does.
Fly Boy44321 (4:07:00 AM): now, should the story progress forward, or reflect back?
seasickmnky (4:07:51 AM): what would you want to see? a painful past or a hopeful future?
Fly Boy44321 (4:08:21 AM): a story
seasickmnky (4:10:11 AM): I hope I make something of my life. I am afraid of many things. getting hurt, commitment, heights, a cubicle job, losing meaning in life, and being forgotten when I die.
seasickmnky (4:10:36 AM): but looking at my life it doesn't seem like I have accomplished anything.
seasickmnky (4:10:45 AM): I hate birthdays for that reason
seasickmnky (4:10:53 AM): looking back on a meaningless life.
Fly Boy44321 (4:11:01 AM): well, you're not dead yet
Fly Boy44321 (4:11:05 AM): that's an accomplishment
seasickmnky (4:11:44 AM): maybe. but I've come close.
seasickmnky (4:11:56 AM): depending on the mood I might think otherwise
seasickmnky (4:12:04 AM): currently...I am happy,
Fly Boy44321 (4:12:29 AM): well, take it from there
seasickmnky (4:13:09 AM): take it? life...
seasickmnky (4:13:12 AM): I try
Fly Boy44321 (4:15:01 AM): now
Fly Boy44321 (4:15:03 AM): tell a story
seasickmnky (4:16:26 AM): why do you want to know about my life
Fly Boy44321 (4:16:32 AM): why not?
Fly Boy44321 (4:16:49 AM): I tend to ask people in general
Fly Boy44321 (4:16:53 AM): its interesting
Fly Boy44321 (4:18:06 AM): and I happen to like a good story
seasickmnky (4:18:52 AM): what if I don't know any stories
Fly Boy44321 (4:20:04 AM): then you're lying
Fly Boy44321 (4:20:09 AM): everyone has a story
seasickmnky (4:21:07 AM): ookay well then what if I don't know any good stories?
Fly Boy44321 (4:21:31 AM): then you obviously think you've led a boring life
Fly Boy44321 (4:23:25 AM): and your perception of boring most certainly isn't the same as mine
Fly Boy44321 (4:23:35 AM): since the mundane forms people forever
Fly Boy44321 (4:24:13 AM): and the exciting only comes as a developing person combines the mundane
Fly Boy44321 (4:26:00 AM): do you remember a time when you smile? a time you cried?
Fly Boy44321 (4:26:03 AM): why?
seasickmnky (4:30:03 AM): I remember crying a lot. I don't remember much smiling. I mean I know I smiled a lot but I don't remember specific times or reasons...
Fly Boy44321 (4:31:07 AM): ever do anything fun?
Fly Boy44321 (4:31:14 AM): anything that you enjoyed?
seasickmnky (4:31:29 AM): I'm thinking
seasickmnky (4:36:21 AM): For my senior talent show I was ginger spice from the spice girls. I made my own dress and a group of us made up a dance and lip sang. it was great. a standing ovation.
seasickmnky (4:37:11 AM): that was pretty cool...
Fly Boy44321 (4:37:15 AM): and you were probably better than the actual spice girls
Fly Boy44321 (4:37:20 AM): and how'd you get the idea to do that?
seasickmnky (4:37:25 AM): haha. yeahhh.
seasickmnky (4:37:33 AM): It was pretty random.
seasickmnky (4:38:13 AM): we were thinking about doing the marlin rogue song really really early and then somebody thought it'd be even better if we were spice girls.
seasickmnky (4:38:57 AM): it worked though. we were horrible dancers and we lip sang the song...so pretty much the spice girls in thier entireity.
Fly Boy44321 (4:39:40 AM): how much planning did this involve?
seasickmnky (4:40:42 AM): a couple of days of coming up with the dance. about 3 or four days.
seasickmnky (4:40:47 AM): for auditions
seasickmnky (4:40:53 AM): my dress was a pain to make.
seasickmnky (4:41:08 AM): actually I think I have a picture...
Fly Boy44321 (4:41:40 AM): great...

Fly Boy44321 (3:39:27 AM): must...refrain...from porn...
Fly Boy44321 (3:39:30 AM): so...much...porn...
Fly Boy44321 (3:40:12 AM): and now he's slow again
seasickmnky (3:40:17 AM): haha. remember, if you download porn you shall lose
Fly Boy44321 (3:40:35 AM): uh...yeah...lose....
seasickmnky (3:40:45 AM): haha, you lost?!?!?
Fly Boy44321 (3:40:56 AM): wouldn't you like to know
seasickmnky (3:41:01 AM): you totally lost.
seasickmnky (3:41:05 AM): hornny basterd
Fly Boy44321 (3:41:11 AM): yeah, well...
seasickmnky (3:41:23 AM): haha. I totally knew I was going to win
Fly Boy44321 (3:41:31 AM): how long did you go?
seasickmnky (3:43:34 AM): longer than you.
seasickmnky (3:43:40 AM): I'm still going
Fly Boy44321 (3:43:42 AM): bah
seasickmnky (3:43:43 AM): you?
Fly Boy44321 (3:43:46 AM): uh...
Fly Boy44321 (3:43:49 AM): six days?
seasickmnky (3:43:52 AM): fuck you
seasickmnky (3:43:54 AM): I hate you

ly Boy44321: perhaps the razor edges have dulled, but the blade is still there, ready to cut again

I don't know what you want from me
but it's probably already gone
I don't care what you think of me
your opinion means nothing at all
-face to face

RyanJGGR (6:54:18 AM): i can't fucking believe i broke my phone

I get by on other peoples stupidity.

(¨`·.·´¨)
`·..you

Fly Boy44321 (1:13:04 AM): it was a funny show, I started laughing, and then there was blood everywhere

The beauty is in your heart

you cant complain about your life if youre not willing to making the effort to change it

Not a lot right now makes sense to me
And it wont sit patiently
Im gonna chase my dreams and catch up to them
Im gonna find you some how, some way, somewhere, some day
-mxpx

and when I am trully happy with who I am, thats when Ill find you because I cant let go of dreams. and I cant let go of hope. lets never let go

I'm pretty fucked up in the head
its a temporary thing that happens every once and again
I'm feeling the need to let go and scream
and tell you know how badly you'll be missed
I'm sorry to say, I've tried hard to fight,
but it seems I'm just too damn weak
where are you when I need some light
I'm tired of getting blown away
and this flicking knife is looking really nice
this heart has caused me a lot more grief
it never really gave me much of a life

cause theme parks are so much more fun when the sun's outside
and i lost my phone to the lake beneath the batman ride

If you've heard of Machetres could you please hook me up?

do what will make you happy
do what you feel is right
only but one thing matters
learn how to live your life

missing you already
I love you

Sing this song for me
Tell me how you?ll never leave my side
And I'll meet you around 7,
And I miss you already, goodbye to you
Last goodbye I'll ever say to you
Replaying Memories
You'll never leave my side

i can't take the time until the next time i see you smile

you know I'll miss you when you're gone

Its times like these that I miss you most, Remembering when we were so close

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew,
were all the years I had with you

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow and may trouble avoid you wherever you go!

When Irish eyes are smiling,
Tis like a morn in spring.
With a lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world is bright and gay
When Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, they steal your heart away.

May the best day of your past
Be the worst day of your future.

Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening,
And live every day as if it were your last.

Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men (or women). You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate - only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural.

maybe you were just performing for the camera

[you handed it to me so willingly]

Fly Boy44321: you don't think
seasickmnky: actually I do. too much
Fly Boy44321: what about?
seasickmnky: my fucked up life. what else?
Fly Boy44321: do tell
seasickmnky: that's okay. I learned my lesson last time...

Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate - only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers - don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

dwdaddio: robot?
seasickmnky: yeah its hot.
seasickmnky: don't be a hater.
dwdaddio: i dont get it
seasickmnky: its okay. you don't have to get it. just accept it for what it is

Climber716: why don't you come down and entertain me
seasickmnky: so farrr. and I'm not very entertaining.
seasickmnky: but I guess so. give me a couple of minutes
Climber716: woohoo! absolute laziness pays off yet again!
seasickmnky: haha. and I am a criple...you're so evil

tRaJiC SmERF: howso cripple?
tRaJiC SmERF: have you lost all your limbs again? whatever will i do with you jackie

matte517: hehe
seasickmnky: what??
matte517: thats another way of saying haha
seasickmnky: yeah I got that. but I didn't say anything funny....
matte517: you are too modest
seasickmnky: or you are completely crazy?
matte517: im not crazy
seasickmnky: people who laugh at random moments = crazy...
matte517: im just jovial jackie
matte517: just because you cant participate in my merriment doesnt make me crazy
seasickmnky: I think so.

why do you scatter traces of people who love you on the floor?
and i dont know why but I feel like second hand consignment.

Gazing up into the darkness I saw myself as a creature driven and derided by vanity; and my eyes burned with anguish and anger. I can feel you dreamin of me beneth the flesh of fallen angels. Do you believe

You were a song that I couldnt sing
you were a story I couldnt tell
Ive only ever loved myself
But Ive loved myself so well
And how defeated I return
youre nice and blue, youre nice and blue
I missed what I was supposed to learn
as all I learned about was missing you

your crayons are all broken
there isnt any rainbows around
its not quite raining
but up in the sky
are those grey clouds that we hate

there is a light in the distance
that blinks its goodbye
we write our I love yous
before falling to the ground
asking ourselves why

if i could feel your smile
then maybe things would be all right
but through these cloudy eyes
there isnt much that can be seen
in a world of grey, im looking for my break

and i dont mean a break in my bones
and i dont mean a break in my heart
just a chance to escape
just a moment to let you know what i mean

ive been watching every step i take
careful not to mess things up again
and maybe ill stop walking straight
hoping that one day youll talk to me
cause i dont want to make this mistake over

our words falter and not much is said
im partly broken and partly dead
but mostly partly scared inside
scared that this is goodbye

And there's one person at home who I know isn't reading this and I just want to say that I miss him so much: I love you more than you'll ever know, I hope you're alright and pray that you'll get through this and I wish I could talk to you and I know it wouldn't matter what I'd say but I still can't find the right words. I hate having emotional profiles. But I'd hate even more if I didn't say what I wanted to say even if you'll never read it. Life is short enough, don't go trying to make it shorter.

Every breath taken always comes undone.
I'll start holding my voice again..

so keep me updated, call back in a week to check up on me..

sometimes I wish the wind would blow me away

I was looking for the perfect away message. Yet this perfect message couldn't be found.
So instead I'll tell you how much I love you. and am greatful to call you a friend.
Because the greatest weakness of most humans
Is their hesitancy to tell others,
How much they love them
While they're alive.

someshadeofgrey:

twat!

LadyRepublica:

pussy!

Police Officer: I think you're missing your calling

Nunc scio quit sit amor.

Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours.

Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't

The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

March 1st. Stop the Ignorance

They say we all lose 21 grams at the exact moment of our death...everyone.
The weight of a stack of nickels.
The weight of a chocolate bar.
The weight of a hummingbird.
whose going to lose 21 grams next?

with light bulbs in our pockets
we'll light this darkened forest
on the mossy turf, we'll dance till
our feet shatter, toes will splinter
tripping through the misty streams of light
so beautiful, i stare in awe

If this is my imagination than I want a new one.

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away

I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath where i am

"We're the convenience of having the newpaper delivered to your room daily, we're USA Today"
ten le grrr ten: no officer, someone PLANTED it

wipe that tear from your eye.
I have smiles to spare.
<3<3<3<3

In a world of grays, blacks, and whites, I am hot pink.

Jackie (while looking at a diagram of a cell): You know I really used to get off on this shit.

People change.
and this is just who I've become. I am greatful for everything that I have learned and experienced. I know that if I really want to make a difference I need to get a degree but right now...I don't know. Maybe its just the fact that I have no idea what I am going to do after all of this. Maybe my goals have all been set before me by someone else before this and it hasn't been until recently that I realized that my goals are no longer the ones that have been set for me. I want to travel. I want to help people. I want to join the peace corps. I want to do art. but you see, money doesn't come into my equation at all. and that's what fucks me over. because money is the most important thing in socitey and to my parents who regard money as a term of sucess. you know what?...I don't even know why I bother...

and maybe I'm scared.

Seasickmnky: yes. I'm pretty bitter tasting. and there is this weird after taste....
ShinyCube7: but what if i marinated you
ShinyCube7: mmm tariakyi jackie
Seasickmnky: good thing you're a vegetarian or I would be a little disturbed....

ShinyCube7 (1:45:47 AM): i am all for asexul reproduction and loving ones dildo

MikeS1985: ya, i hear she has pretty big vibrators
Osh Rules: by the sounds of it when i'm trying to sleep.... i'd agree

College has caused me to lose many things that I have hold dear. Art and writing mostly. maybe not college directly but things brought on by college. I use to be praisied for my art. In middle school I was artist of the year every year. In high school I knew all of the art teachers and they were all impressed with talents that I possesed. Though looking back I never thought I was anything special. I still don't...I have been able to convince others of my abitlities but not myself. I should work on that.

I've only seen my Dad really cry four times in my life. Once when I was around 8 and I was singing 'Don't step on the cracks or you'll break your fathers back.' and he asked me why I had changed it from mother to father and I replied 'because I don't have a mother anymore.' The second time was when I was 11 and I flew over my bike handle bars, landed face first into the cement and knocked out my two front permanent teeth. There is still a blood stain on the road...The last time was when I was in 9th grade and my whole body went completely numb. My arms started moving by themselves but otherwise, I couldn't move anything. Even my tongue was numb. I was so scared that I was going to die or be paralyzed, my Dad was there with me the whole time. The last time was when he finally realized how depressed my brother and I were. He thought he had failed the family and that he wasn't a good father. But he was wrong. I was and always be Daddy's Girl.

Once when I was little I was over at my friend Chris' house and sniffing flowers in his back yard when a bee flew up my nose and stung me.

I use to have dreams all the time. But now I don't have any very often. at least not ones I can recall.
I remember when I was little I had a dream that My Dad and Mom were getting attacked by a giant alligator. That was the scariest dream I can remember having.

In high school I was a memeber of the bedding barn six.
since we were all photographers we got pictures of teachers and made fliers with assorted messages. We than took these fliers and posted them all over the school. We got the Newspaper in trouble because people thought they were doing it. obviously they didn't know how to us the security cameras because we never got in trouble.
(Bedding Barn: a mattress place in b-ville that have been open forever though there is never anyone in the parking lot).

My freshman year of high school I was really good friends with this guy named Fred.
and one day he called me Jackie Chan. Of course I had to give him a name too. Which ended up being Fred Flinstone. I haven't talked to Fred in awhile but I here he's becoming a Fireman and often drives his fire engine to our old high school where he blows the horns outside Ms. Beatty's class room on a regular basis.

let's make my away messages really vague and confuse people....

We once had a poodle named spunky.
Frankly I think we should of named him noodle. but that's just me.
We gave him away because he had a small bladder and we weren't around all day to clean up after him.

Seasickmnky: loving as in "i hate you stupid bitch"? must be tough love...

Come see our kick ass door.
I am so proud :-)

I don't even have words to describe
or how to make things right.
I can't even take my own advice.
I just want to know who you write your love songs to.

someshadeofgrey:
someshadeofgrey: that means that i was trying something unusual sexually but then it was surprisingly pleasant

Happy Valentines Day

Anti Colm and James Week

TheEyebrow: You shouldn't have let him know
TheEyebrow: Now he didn't learn a lesson
TheEyebrow: Now he's just gonna throw up during class all the time

LemonMon: i lvoe jackkkkkkkie
LemonMon: sexy pantssss

Lisa: My down there is clean enough

squidcore: can I have sex with the shadow puppets?
squidcore: you have no idea how desperate I am.

Joanne: I've decide this is the semester
Lisa: to dominate a virgin?

[life is hard. and sometimes all you have to do is deal with it. you can't argue with pure fact. If life were easy than what would be the point of anything? there'd be nothing to fight for. or be passionate about. life wouldn't be worth it if we didn't have something to struggle for.]

the sky is not so wonderful tonight
but the view from your eyes makes everything alright.
promise to love me and never let me go
because I don't want to feel lost like i have before.

I would rather keep my eyes
despite the pain and tears
because what it comes down to
is that if I cut them out
I'd never see your beautiful smile.

this is me becoming emotionally unattached.
i just don't really care anymore.
so yeah. fuck this.

i want to disappear into the night.

this is me bleeding from my ears.

break me.

matte517: you are just popular
matte517: an urban myth of sorts
matte517: but a real one...
matte517: everyone "knows" you

<1<2<3<4<5<6<7<8

someshadeofgrey (2:54:29 PM): dudde you better not drink again, because if you get really fucked up and pass out i'm goin gto sharpie a goose to your neck

LadyRepublica: i less than 3 you too

Remember when you were little and your parents were giving you a bath, or teaching you how to swim? And you would somehow get water in your eyes and you would attempt to wipe the water from your eyes and be coughing and crying the whole time? And your parents would go "It's just water!"

Well, bite me, okay? Because when people drown you don't say "it's just water."

someshadeofgrey: you are a girl.
Seasickmnky: that I am. at least i was last time I checked...hmmmm
someshadeofgrey: check, its not that hard, just look downwards
Seasickmnky: okay hold on...
someshadeofgrey: dude wouldn't u flip out if a penis popped out/
someshadeofgrey: you'd be like FUCK WHA THTEOIHWSG:OHO:WGHIS:OGH
someshadeofgrey: and you'd cry
Seasickmnky: haha. yeah I would.
someshadeofgrey: because penises are weird looking
Seasickmnky: good thing its still a vagina

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Girl with a Bowl on her Head


When I was a girl, my mother
always made me

wear a wooden bowl on my head.
She wanted to

keep people from looking at me
and it worked. No

one ever really saw me, but
only the bowl,

or what they thought they might have glimpsed
from underneath,

and soon I became secretive
as an acorn.

I cultivated a new way
of seeing and

became a connoisseur of strange,
vegetal things

kept hidden inside—the second
miniature

bell pepper nested inside the first
like a Russian

doll, green, with the intricate curl
and fold of an

ear. Or how the inscrutable
placid carrot

ripening into anarchy
splits wide open

and bares its ropey length of barbed,
thorny spine. Or

the tearing apart of spicy
cool globes of or-

anges to sometimes find an extra
section, the size

of a lima bean, tucked between
two large sections

like a flower pressed in the pages
of a thick book.

Hungrily picking and plucking
at the thistled

leaves of an artichoke, down to
the translucent

purple-tipped petals that flutter
thin as gills, down

past the nest of buttery fur
cropped close like a

scrub brush that comes off in sticky
clumps, all the way

down to the green, sweet creamy heart.


Lee Ann Roripaugh

Exhaustion


I lie down in the Dark Ages, another night deficient in ecstasy.
I'm tired of the old laws and the new laws and the laws they've been thinking
up between breakfast and delirium.
I might as well be driving a dog sled in the white waste of Alaska, mukluks
still feral on my feet,
Or sliding a two-ton truck through Alabama mud, a seizure of fiddles on the
radio and a bumper sticker that says: Living in a vacuum sucks.
The world's run short of taffeta and courtesy and grass widows with a gamy
scent.
And where are you, bare spark at the flash point, when I need the moony
spasms of release?
I'm tired of all the stagestruck mothers with little Hamlets in the womb, and
those snakehandlers whipping Jesus in the lead with their rattlers and
cottonmouths.
And I'm worn out from the terror, the gruesome excuses for a heart packed
in dry ice and a flag strung up by the neck.
The heart frightens me, too, the way it motors off on its own, with no backup,
no redundant systems for the pump.
So what's the weather like in the otherworld? Same today as the last eternity
— nothing changes where everything's changed.
Even the Bible's been divided into tongues, from the Aramaic all the way to
gangster slang: So they brung him down the cross, and the guy's already
colder than a Jersey whore.
And what about you? Idle hands, when I could use another volunteer to stir
the fleshpots.
I've survived the drumrolls and the German sense of humor and the bloody
flux — why isn't it someone else's turn to pull the temple down?
I'm not feeling world-historical tonight, though I can still smell the stench of
a rotten hypothesis, like eggheads left out too long in the sun.
My mind's one wrinkle away from ravenous black — spiders in the brainpan,
and all circuits down on the motherboard.
And I'm so tired of death shouldering his scythe across the fields,
grasshoppers leaping from his bony toes.
Give me freshets from the belly; quicken my desire by some strange order
of magnitude; fix me a poultice to bring the swelling down.
The hour already feels tainted and ancient. And then, at the low stroke of
the soul, you come.


Elton Glaser

The History of The
first, we weren't anyone

or a cloud taught us. Then rain,
then the slow moving toward.
Which is to say, it was the sun
we saw, the sky
blue because certain vast machinery
in the eye tells us what is
color. Second, we found two whose
bodies might invite us here. Past
the dark room of that
though it was pleasant enough. Third,
the long slide. Then the longer
learning simple massive things: food
goes into the mouth. And on its way out?
Well, there are other things
of mystery: how one number equals those
two birds on a branch, why sleep comes
and forces you to lie down straight.
Remember, we weren't anyone.
And then, that changed
and changed again.

• • •

I had a book once

and opened it. Maybe it was important.
I watched my grandfather read like that, his lips
moved, silent, and I saw his eyes go
word by word, left to right. Forty years ago.

And to see that now? How could it matter?
Under the knife, the body is quiet.
And the surgeon gathers himself like water
to the sponge. The room is cool
as the past is cool in its
immaculate way. Dark hallways. Even in the summer,
the rooms there.... Meanwhile, my grandfather
read by the window. And I gathered myself

though there was no self yet
to gather. How to say this? I watched
light fall on him and all his years:
beautiful, courtly.

• • •

the bone house

and we build it, one of childhood's
great triumphs. Rib, spine, femur, skull
to take the weight of days, release

of nights: knuckle, vertebrae, joints
for every moveable minute — up, down,
in, out. Is the soul a tent

draped under it? Tiny fractures that
curve the spine, that change the walking
forward or backward, the cadence,

the way we imagine here to there.
Over so much time. And now this
stiffening, this clicking, each step,

each step down. Ghost of the old ones
passing into my tent where we
sit down wordless, no tea to pass.

• • •

the history of

the, says the linguist, began grandly
as that. As opposed to the plainest a
meaning a man, a woman, a day like any other
day between them. Oh ancient
the! — as in that second cousin I loved, say,
or that afternoon once, when you
looked down into the empty lot,
the old woman saying: sometimes, it's
just filled with cars! The
with a hat on, a wild feather
in such a hat, spotted, streaked,
even tipped in red. Until, until
the great graying into
the, oh lord of balance, oh
polite nod to center the blooming
whatever-it-is
on the tablecloth.

• • •

guesswork

is work: one eye open, the other —
always building back to that
earliest half-lit place
where days were an inch, the night
miles of inching through space,
one dim star
to star. I only mean
I liked those times
sitting in the woods alone,
nothing quite locked
in my binoculars, my confusion kept to
which bird and what flower
as if, for a moment, that
right on the verge of knowing were
a kind of knowing. So clouds
have no idea they're
clouds. The almost in us,
billowing.

• • •

snow melting on roof

isn't a halo. Isn't memory really
though in certain places, the shingles
next door — made to look old, that

cobble-looking old — show through
the way forgetfulness clears
for a second, and you're back

on the hospital stairs where
a nurse breaks down in tears,
looks up, startled — who were you

to be there? So much is unexplained.
It's all melting anyway — snow,
the thought of snow, its intrepid

invention: winter, that private
knock-knock no one answers, though
in bad poems, there's always

a voice for it, maybe a low moan.
In truth, it's merely cold
and cloudy — no glitter

off the roof's half snow.
No wind just now: sometimes
the mind stays here.

• • •

drawing, of course

I would draw my cat,
but she'd look back. I would
draw her but she's
way past sleep and sheds her
quiet like tickertape
down the long hallway, talking
cranky and offkey.

Of course, it's winter. I would draw
that, but a pencil isn't
fierce enough for branches stripped
to nothing. To one leaf, which
is as good as nothing. And nothing —
that gift needs invisible ink.

I'd draw the way words feel
in the mouth after too long without
words, or the way the body rises after
hours of dream, gravity
on every bone again, that anchoring
and ache.

Or I wouldn't. Or I couldn't.
Or I'd bury the treasure
in the most obvious place.

• • •

old photographs

take a moment and pretend
it's a life. The happy picnic. The happy
look-at-us amid flowers and soiled napkins.

My friend Joan took a picture once,
three nuns, all strangers in the solid flowing white,
peering into the Grand Canyon, that

astonishing void. I see them
from the back, a hand just so, pointing.
A head tilted. There. And my eye, poor eye,

moves from one to the other to the other,
restless. And pleasure? The canyon's vast
and empty, and endlessly still. And so small,

my looking at their looking.

• • •

no one in the library this early

so it's all sleep, talkative
books silenced by their covers.
And Xerox machines dreaming that
one rare uncopiable thing. And computers
still pinned to their home sites. Gladness is
human: none of that. Neither
is there sorrow, or sweetness, or —
no — no jubilation. And just to invite
tears into this place, one needs a full life
or at least one afternoon,
the traffic blinding someone
driving straight into the sun: Officer,
I just didn't see it. But is it solace?
Here? A quiet, clean corner. A book of poems
no one has touched for ten years. I open it
to the middle, a poem not
particularly good, maybe an afterthought
added the last few hours
before mailing off the manuscript.
Because one line, maybe
that one....

• • •

crossing the street at dawn

or not dawn, not yet. A few cars in the dark.
A young man with a backpack
in front of me. Stars? Too cloudy.
I left my car somewhere.
And walk. Too stiff to walk
this early. And the great university's halls —
looming sturdy as lament.
Across the quad, a door opens and closes.
The street lamps — one must
pass under them: the reverse
of shade. A kind of weird mist,
that light. So I let a pencil
bring it back, writing this by hand,
plain as it was: glowing, uneventful.

• • •

something flashes

in this hollow between buildings. Closer,
a notebook, smallest ambition
of the binding machine, big enough
to reduce the world to faded ink — one bird
and its color, say, someone carefully
writing the date: late winter, early spring.
Or it's just a phone number there,
no name. Mysterious
least of things, stained, open. One page
turning, turned back, this day
in a new century — one hour
or one life. It was mine, I'll say, or
it was yours. What do we call that?
Wind? Was that it?

• • •

really, I remember a window, nothing

special. A young tree flowered
once a year. The flowers pink, or they
were white, the stamens yellow
in the folds. Maybe the green finches

had turned their brilliant gold
by then, hanging funny on the feeder
to earn their thistle, seeds so tiny,
flying out of my hand through the wind —

hardly anything. A slow buzzing
of frogs those springs. At first we thought
insects, the pitch higher
on warm evenings. I know exactly

when it stopped. By June or so, only birds
slowed the twilight, not
many. We sometimes walked then. It was
cooler, the sun out of the world, everyone

tired of the day and what it brought. What did
it bring? I remember only the same things
over and over, the way a song remembers,
coming back like that.


--Marianne Boruch

The Ha-Ha, Part II: I Cry My Heart, Antonio
—at Dal Pescatore, Cannetto sull'Oglio, just outside Mantova



It's just as the waiter has brought us
a single buttery dumpling
stuffed with pecorino, parmigiano, and ricotta

that arrives after the porcini mushrooms
and the seafood risotto
and before the snapper with tomato and black olives

and the duck in balsamic vinegar reduction
that I touch my napkin
to my lips and say, "There are no words to describe this"

and then feel the sting of tears as I remember
where I'd read these words,
in that book about the trial of the English pedophile

and child murderer who delighted in recording
the final moments
of her victims' lives, the screaming, the promises not to tell,

her own tapes used in evidence against her yet thought so horrific
by the judge that
he ordered them played in a sealed courtroom

and then, in the public interest,
to a single journalist
who would only say, "There are no words to describe this."

•

And even though the waiter arrives at that moment
to clear away plates and pour more wine
and ask if everything is good, if it's all to our satisfaction,

still, Barbara bends close to me and asks if everything's okay,
says I seem a little upset,
and I cover by telling her the story that Mark's cousin Antonio

had told me about this prosciutto he'd bought
and had put in his basement
for curing so it would turn salty and sweet and delicate all at once,

but something went wrong, and one day
he went down to check
on his prosciutto, and it was maggot-ridden and moldy,

and here Antonio shakes his head and looks at me
with a sad smile and says,
"I cry my heart, David," and only later do I realize

I've used this story as a ha-ha, which is not a joke but a landscape trick
from 18th-century England,
a sunken fence used to keep cows at a picturesque distance

from the manor house so they can be seen grazing on the greensward,
kept by the ha-ha
from trampling the lawn and mooing at the guests.

•

Your ha-ha, then, is a structure against your chaos.
And your story about Antonio's prosciutto
is thus a structure against your psychological chaos, as the poem

about the meal at Dal Pescatore and the hideously inappropriate memory
and Antonio's prosciutto and the ha-ha
is a further structure against further chaos still.

Or not structure, maybe, but process, like a walk.
There's almost no problem a walk can't solve,
say the walkers, and surely the same is true about poetry and possibly

doubly true when the poem is about walking, as is Campbell McGrath's
"Spring Comes to Chicago," in which
the poet talks about walking around that city with his pregnant wife,

eating pizza in one restaurant and waffles in another and somehow surviving
the Chicago traffic that many do not survive,
for the same walk that can be our best friend can be our worst enemy as well—

while it is indisputably good to go out walking, it is equally indisputable
that we may, in the course of our exercise,
be struck down or otherwise injured, be we in 20th-century Chicago

or 18th-century Durham, where the ha-ha boom waxed and then waned
after Lord Lambton tumbled into his,
climbed out cursing, and had it filled with coal-spoil.

•

When the meal is over, we take a taxi to Piadena and the train
from there to Mantova,
past these little towns, each with its own duomo, great or small,

that bursts from the pavement like Dante's Mount of Paradise,
and while none is so beautiful as the dome
of Santa Maria del Fiore in Florence or so Gothic and spire-studded

as the Milan duomo that seems to be armed against the devil's legions
or as vast as that of St. Peter's in Rome,
the cathedral big enough to brag of its bigness by outlining

on its floor — plenty of opportunities to stumble there! — the plans
of the other, lesser cathedrals,
still, were we to get off the train and walk into one of these little churches,

we'd see it's been built like all the others, its interior looming larger
than its exterior suggests and its vault
painted in the manner of the night sky, because night

is the best time to talk to God, for if Satan and his boys are everywhere,
the rates are cheaper then,
and so we make our way down the aisle, the dark cut only

by candlelight, and figures shuffle in the shadows, though who they are,
we'll never know, and our steps are uncertain,
but over our heads, the sky blazes with promise, and the stars are spinning.

--David Kirby

I was feeling pretty religious
standing on the bridge in my winter coat
looking down at the gray water:
the sharp little waves dusted with snow,
fish in their tin armor.

That's what I like about disappointment:
the way it slows you down,
when the querulous insistent chatter of desire
goes dead calm

and the minor roadside flowers
pronounce their quiet colors,
and the red dirt of the hillside glows.

She played the flute, he played the fiddle
and the moon came up over the barn.
Then he didn't get the job,—
or her father died before she told him
that one, most important thing—

and everything got still.

It was February or October
It was July
I remember it so clear
You don't have to pursue anything ever again
It's over
You're free
You're unemployed

You just have to stand there
looking out on the water
in your trench coat of solitude
with your scarf of resignation
lifting in the wind.

--Tony Hoagland// Disappointment